The Ten Commandments for Cycling
1. Thou shalt have no other God than Eddy Merckx.
2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s bicycle, nor cast thy covetous eyes upon Full Carbon gadgets that thou cannot afford.
3. Thou shalt not lurk behind thy brother’s wheel for many miles and then hammer past without thanks.
4. Thou shalt not inflict upon thy bikeless brethren thy unending monologue concerning thy Training and thy step by step thoughts and feelings of thy last race.
5. Thou shalt become aware that the Pleasures that thou findeth in Cycling are not in direct proportion to the amount of cash thou parteth with, nor shalt thou giveth a large tythe of thy monthly salary to thy Local Bike Shop
6. Behold it is written that thou shalt not spend every living moment planning thy next ride lest thy spouse fileth for Divorce, thereby taketh you to the cleaners and forceth the sale of thy Bicycle.
7. Thou shalt return in kind the actions and services rendered unto you by thy Car Driving Brethren, not forgetting the Appropriate Hand Gestures and Helpful Directives as to where thou shouldst ride.
8. Thou shalt wash thy water bottles before thou noticeth vile fungi forming in the bottom, for this thing is an abomination to thy Spouse.
9. Thou shalt not use the Towel of thy Spouse to wipe down thy chain, for this also is also an abomination to her and delighteth her Lawyers.
10. Thou shalt not lie to thy elders in the peloton about thy speeds, lest thou looketh rather ridiculous next time you ride with them.
This is cycling law and if any of the commandments are broken it is a sin punishable by a flat tire, bonking and in extreme cases bad race days.