Need to mow your lawn? Rather go on a bike ride? Well now you can do both. Find one halfway between your local bike shop and local lawn care store.
Female vs Male Cycling Joke
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, “Nothing I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smailed slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior – I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love you, too.” When we got home, I felt as I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
His Diary:
There’s this creaking on my bike that sounds like it’s coming from the bottom bracket … can’t figure out why.
Bike making weird noises? They can be a pain to figure out and even once you do they can be tricky to fix. This should help a little “Bike Noises — Don’t Let Them Scare You” Don’t let the noises get to you though.
Cycling Explained to a Non Cyclist
Cycling Explained to a Non Cyclist
Rated more than 18A… watch out for vulgar language in this hilarious video where cycling is being explained to a non cyclist. Sometimes a little humour can put it in real perspective as to what us cyclists actually do.
Ok vulgar… but still funny right? Vote below with a like or a share.
What Cyclists Say and What They Mean
Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around. They’ll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don’t let this happen to you. Study this handy rider’s phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say:
I think my tire pressure is low.”
Translation: Slow down, will ya?
“I definitely have a flat tire.”
Help me change it
“This trail is a blast!”
I hope you have good medical insurance
“I’m on my beater bike”
I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using Carbon Fiber blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.
“This is a no-drop ride”
I’ll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.
“That wasn’t that bad…”
Oh…my…god… I’m…having…a…heart…attack…
“Wow, that was at least 10 feet high”
5 feet max. probably closer to 4
“I don’t have a low enough gear.”
I’ve gained 5 pounds
“I’ve decided to buy a lighter bike.”
I’ve gained 10 pounds
“That climb wasn’t that bad!”
I’m going to puke
“I’m carbo loading.”
Pass the beer
“I’m tapering.”
I haven’t ridden in 2 months
“If you’re a good bike handler, you don’t need to wear a helmet.”
I’m so stupid and a brain injury wouldn’t affect me
“She hammers!”
She’s faster than me
“I bonked.”
I went too hard and all I had to eat was a twinkie
“If you don’t crash, you’re not going fast enough, dude!”
I crash a lot
“I don’t own a car.”
I’m a better person than you
“I do all my own bike maintenance.”
When I squeeze the front brake lever, the bike shifts gears
“Thanks for waiting.”
Wipe that smug grin off your ugly face
“Been riding much?”
How fit are you?
“Not much. You?”
My anaerobic threshold is 250 and my resting pulse is 14
“Well, let’s take it easy today.”
Ready, set, go!
“Hold on, there’s something wrong with my bike.”
Let’s stop so I can rest
“My tires suck!”
This climb is killing me!
“It’s getting dark.”
I wanna go home
“This bike is a piece of ****!”
I can’t ride worth ****
“This hill is easy.”
This trail’s pretty tough but I’m gonna try and lose you on it
“My bike was acting funny.”
Otherwise I would have whooped your butt!
“He’s pretty good.”
I know I’m better than him
“He spends a lot of time biking!”
I wish I was as good as him
“That thing’s a piece of ****.”
I wish I had one…
“It’s not that far”
Bring your passport.
Info from forums.bicycling.com